my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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