u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
