Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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