office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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