woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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