She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
