my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
