it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
