I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
