does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
