eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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