so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize