get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
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just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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