Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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