i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize
