no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
