I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
