I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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