He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
