We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize