that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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