Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
