If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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