It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you had me at cake vodka
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
