Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I FOUND THE LEGS
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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