summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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