We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
