I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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