Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
