your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
