You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
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I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
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I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think i got beer on your cat.
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