One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize