I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
