these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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