I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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