How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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