i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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