well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
