just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
