i just wanna soil my oats bro
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
