he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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