Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
