just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
