how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
