There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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