Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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