let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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