i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
