today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
