I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
either way he was missing a nipple.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
