what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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