And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
