i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
