Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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