I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
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Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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