I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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