He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So vagazzling was a success
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
