I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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