You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
