I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
