i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
