you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
