Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
