i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
