is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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