I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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